


Not Quite Death

by GhostlyGoddess2010



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Moments With Different Happenings, Comedy, Happy Ending, M/M, Romance, Smut, gonorrhea, this started as a joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-17 05:25:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10587357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostlyGoddess2010/pseuds/GhostlyGoddess2010
Summary: Sasuke gets attacked in the Forest of Death and the events that follow are a result of what occurred.





	1. The Forest Of Death

**Author's Note:**

> So, this started as a total joke when my brother suggested that I write a fic in which Orochimaru gives Sasuke the clap instead of the curse mark. My beta reader then *literally* begged me to write it and make it a comedy. That said, I stayed as far from rape as I could and did my best with an issue that is so serious. The result of said challenge is what I present you with in 8 short chapters that I should be posting daily. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think, I worked really hard on it and I actually enjoyed writing it to an extent.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing that is Naruto; all that belongs to Kishimoto Masashi.

Fuck.  I couldn’t believe that I'd just been bitten in the dick.  I looked over at my teammates- both of them passed out.  Pathetic.  Naruto was out due to overexertion; Sakura fainted the second she saw the snake coming for us.  Apparently I was its only target; the others remained unharmed.

 

☾

 

_“Hey, Sasuke?”  The idiot addressed me once we reached the tops of our respective trees.  Kakashi had left the two of us on our own to attempt perfecting his “tree-climbing” routine.  Sakura had mastered it immediately, leaving myself and Naruto to figure it out on our own.  We were actually starting to get pretty good at it._

_“Yeah dick-muncher?”  I wasn’t entirely sure why I called him that, but I found it amusing._

_He stiffened at the new nickname and I held back a chuckle.  “Wh...What?”_

_“You heard me, Na-ru-to.”_

_“But...I don’t..Sasuke what the fuck?”_

_“What?  Are you worried that I_ actually _think you’re gay?”_

_“Of course not, bastard!  But...I’m not.”_

_“Heh.  If that’s what you wanna tell yourself.”_

_“Wh...what do you mean?”_

_“I mean, I’ve seen the way you’re always staring at me Na-ru-to.”_

_“I don’t look at you in any particular way, bastard.”_

_“Prove it,” I goaded.  Naruto was falling right into my trap._

_“How!?”_

_“Let’s compare dick sizes.  If you don’t get hard, I’ll admit that you aren’t gay.”_

_“That’s a stupid competition,” he argued._

_“Maybe,” I shrugged._

_He grumbled under his breath.  Perfect; I’d gotten under his skin._

_I rolled my eyes.  “Oh, come on Naruto.  Everybody compares their dick to someone else’s at least once; we might as well get it over with early.”_

_“Whatever,” he muttered, looking down at his feet sheepishly._

_“It’s a fair trade,” I convinced him, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”_

_He seemed to think about it for a moment before looking directly at me and nodding.  We both counted to three and dropped our pants._

I win, _I thought.  “Ha, loser.”_

_“Fuck off Sasuke,” he hissed, pulling his pants back up, sporting a blush on his cheeks._

_I shrugged.  “You were right, Naruto.”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I guess you’re not gay.”_

_His eyes widened in surprise.  I guess he’d forgotten all about that part of the conversation.  From that day on, he was my best friend._

 

☾

 

I looked over at the messy blond hair atop my friend’s head.  What a weird friendship- not that I was one to judge.  Naruto was literally the only person I’d ever considered my friend.  Even Sakura was just kind of...there.

Sometimes I wondered why I felt so attached to the blond boy in particular, but I never thought about it too thoroughly; it’s not like it mattered anyway.

I picked up my companions before trying to find a place to rest.  Sakura was collapsed on a limb of one of the many trees that surrounded us.  The Forest of Death was home to many trees, go figure.  Naruto, on the other hand, was hanging from a tree by a kunai that Sakura had thrown to save his ass.  These two were really something.

I sighed as I grabbed onto Naruto’s hand before removing the kunai.  It wasn’t as much fun when I couldn't call him moron to his face.  The dumbass had gotten overzealous in a fight and- once his chakra was suppressed- lost consciousness mid-fall.  Sakura’s quick thinking saved his life, but within a few minutes she found herself out cold from the mere sight of a snake.  In a forest.  Of death.  Seriously.  To think I’d gotten stuck with these failures.

I focused on my primary objectives: staying alive and keeping these two safe.  First, I needed to find a safe(ish) spot to set up camp.  Then- after the sleeping beauties woke up- I’d wash up in the river, inspecting my snake-bitten dick for good measure.  I looked at the dead-weights I held in either of my arms and sighed.  We were only supposed to be in here for a week, but it was going to be a long one.


	2. Chūnin Exam: Final Round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final round of the chūnin exam commences while Sasuke tries to figure out what's going on inside of himself.

I sat in the middle of the battlefield, wondering what in the actual fuck had just happened.  Looking around, I noticed that audience seemed to be under some sort of genjutsu.   _Great_.  I rolled my eyes.

I knew I had to go after Gaara, but I had the insatiable urge to take a piss.  For whatever reason, these exams seemed to have stirred up some sort of nervous bladder.  Tch, as if I ever got nervous.

Before I could even leave the arena, a strange man appeared in front of me.  He was so pale that his his skin was practically gray, his eyes were green with narrow pupils, and his long, black hair swayed in the light breeze.  All-in-all, he gave me a very creepy vibe.  Aside from his predatory smile, he somehow reminded me of the snake that bit me in the Forest of Death. Fucking creep.

“Sasuke-kun,” he called me by name as if we were familiar.  Who the fuck did this guy think he was?

“And you are?”

“Call me Lord Orochimaru of Otogakure.”

“What do you want, I’m a little busy here.”

“Yes, you always do seem to be...busy,” he said cryptically as walked around me, sizing me up.

I sighed.  “Get to the point.  What do you want?”

“I want you to join me.”

I looked at the creep-stick incredulously.  “And why should I?”

“Because I can help you reach your goal,” he hissed in my ear.  “For a price of course.”

“What price?”  I asked my question aloud, but he was already gone.

 _Ugh_ , I groaned internally.  I didn’t have time to worry about that creep when I still had to take a burning piss and find Gaara.   _Finally_ leaving the arena, I took a quick pee break before pursuing Gaara at long last.  I was actually beginning to learn how to work with the burning sensation, not that it made it any better.  I had to hurry- I knew that the second Kakashi fully grasped what was going on, he’d send the others after me.  I could not risk it; I wanted Gaara all to myself.

 

☾

 

Dammit.  Did I really just get my ass saved by _Naruto_ ?  What was happening to me?  I was all out of energy and unfortunately, I had to pee again.  What kind of fucked up reality had I been living in since the Forest of Death?  Here I was, lying useless in a tree as Naruto fought my battles for me.  Best friend or not, it was still bothering me.  Naruto was _not_ allowed to be stronger than me.   _Maybe I_ should _take that Orochimaru creep up on his offer- whatever it was._

Naruto had officially defeated Gaara, but he wasn’t giving up that easily.  Same old moron.  He was currently using his chin to inch closer to Gaara.  What kind of drugs was this kid on?  I’d always wondered that about Naruto, though.  If he wasn’t surprising everyone with his stamina, he was chin-crawling to “knock some sense” into his enemies.  Tch; if anything, someone should knock some sense into him.  I got the feeling that that burden fell upon me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter features Sasuke's run-in with Itachi. Please comment and let me know what you guys think!


	3. Itachi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke faces off with his brother for the first time since the massacre, but it doesn't go according to plan.

It wasn’t enough that he had killed my entire family, but now Itachi was after Naruto too?  It’s like he knew who to target to hurt me the most; he always was a sadistic asshole.

I rushed through the town that Naruto had stopped at as I checked out literally every hotel.  Even after the Chūnin Exams had concluded, my bladder problems still persisted.  In my frantic search, I was aware of the need to pee, but ignored it on account of looking Naruto.  If this thing didn’t fix itself soon, I knew it would cause me major problems.

When I finally found Naruto, I found myself face-to-face with my arch nemesis as well.  And I thought this day couldn’t get any better.

“Sasuke,” the sadistic prick taunted me, “you don’t look so well.  Are you eating your vegetables?”

 _Fuck off Itachi_.  I had not missed his taunting.  Still needing to pee, I shifted slightly to the left in hopes of quelling the urge.  Unfortunately, this did not go unnoticed by my older brother.

“Do you need to use the bathroom, Sasuke?  It’s okay, I can wait.”

Dammit.  He always could read me.

“It’s okay Sasuke, you’ll learn to control your bladder eventually.”

Okay, fuck this guy.  I fired up a Chidori and lunged at my opponent.  Of course the asshole caught it without a second thought.  Stupid Itachi.  And now I was out of energy.  Seriously, what was wrong with me?

“Oh Sasuke,” he goaded.  “Look at yourself.  Maybe one day you’ll be old enough to play with the big boys.  Until then though,”  then he raised his hand and I felt myself passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and let me know what you think, your feedback really means a lot! The next chapter covers Sasuke's resolve for the future.


	4. The Village Hidden In Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke finds himself saying goodbye to Naruto.

When I awoke, I was in the hospital.  For whatever reason, Sakura was my bedside, waiting for me to wake up.  I was so disoriented, that I didn’t even shake off her hug.

“Lady Tsunade wouldn’t even tell us about your condition,” she sobbed into my shoulder.

_Condition?  What condition?_

“She said she wants to see you immediately.”

 _Ugh._  Fuck that.

“Where’s Naruto?”

“Huh?  Why do you care about Naruto?”

“Sakura.”

“He’s fine, he’s the one who brought Tsunade back to heal you.”

Of course.  It would seem that Naruto had become my knight in shining armor of sorts.  Or orange cloth as it were.

“So...what’s this about my condition?”

“I just told you, Sasuke, she wouldn’t tell anyone.  I’ll go get her immediately.”

“Don’t,” I instinctively reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.  _Great, I probably just gave her false hope._  “I just...I just want to relax for awhile, okay?”

“Oh-okay,” she added with a blush.  False hope indeed.

I sighed as I leaned back in my hospital bed.  I didn’t want to have a conversation with this mystery lady, but I also wanted to know the details of this condition.  If only there were someone I was truly comfortable with around.  Where was Naruto when I needed him?

 

☾

 

“Sasuke,” Tsunade began.  “I need to talk to you.”

I looked up at the blonde medical ninja, wishing that I had another blond by my side.

“Where’s Naruto?”  I questioned instinctively.

“This doesn’t concern him, Sasuke; just you.”

I looked away.  Surely whatever it was couldn’t be _that_ bad, right?”

“Sasuke...I don’t know how to be subtle about this, so I’ll cut to the chase.  You have gonorrhea.”

Oh.  It _was_ that bad.   _What the fuck?_

“But how-”

She shrugged.  “Do we need to discuss your sexual partners?”

 _Tch._  Sexual partners.  What a fucking joke.  Literally.  In fact, the only thing that had gotten even relatively close to my dick was…

“That snake,” I hissed out.

“I’m sure you must be frustrated, Sasuke, but gonorrhea can be asymptomatic.  There’s a chance that your partner didn’t even know about it.”

I groaned.  “No, you don’t understand.  It was _literally_ a snake.  A snake bit me on the dick.  That’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a sexual partner.”

“Oh,” she turned around to stifle a giggle.  “Not exactly a romance novel, huh?”

I leveled the blonde woman with a glare.  She sighed in response.

“Fine.  Unfortunately for you, I haven’t developed any antibiotics for sexual infections yet, but I know of someone who has.”

“You do?”

“I do.  He’s that snake-Orochimaru’s- understudy.  Yakushi Kabuto.  Makes perfect sense when you think about it.  Orochimaru’s probably come across his fair share…”she shuddered as she trailed off.

“Orochimaru?  The guy who attacked the village?”

She sighed once again.  “The very same.  We used to be teammates once upon a time.  I recommend getting treatment immediately, Sasuke.  Unfortunately, if you want to be discreet about it, you’ll have to leave the village.  Officially.”

_Oh._

“Where’s Naruto?”

“Sasuke, I know you and Naruto are close, but it’d probably be best not to tell him.  He has quite the mouth on him.”

Dammit.  She was right.  How was I going to leave Naruto behind?

 

☾

 

I sat up all night, trying to figure out what I was going to do.  I didn’t want to leave Naruto behind, I really didn’t.  I had to get this taken care of, though.

I groaned as I rolled over.  Orochimaru wanted me to come see him anyway.  _My goal._  He said he’d help me accomplish my goal.  What goal was he talking about?

 _Itachi_.

Fuck.  Somehow I’d forgotten about Itachi.  Probably the damn gonorrhea.  I really needed to get treatment though.  Then I could focus on my revenge.  What was Orochimaru’s price though?

 

☾

 

“Sasuke!”  He yelled at me in the midst of our fight.  “He only wants you for your body!”

 _My body?_  What did Naruto mean?

“Then he can have my body.  I only have one purpose in life, Naruto.  I’m an avenger.”

Our arguments became more aggressive as our fight dragged on.  Somehow, I hadn’t managed to slip up once about the gonorrhea.  Probably because I was so pissed at Itachi.

When our fight concluded, I found myself faced with an unconscious Naruto.  Shit.  Could I really do this?  Could I tear myself away from the most important person in my life?  Could I really go on not telling him the truth?

“Naruto...I…” I couldn’t do this.  I had to get away before I got pulled right back in.  I needed treatment and I needed to kill Itachi.  I couldn’t let even Naruto pull me away from that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying it, please leave me some feedback and let me know what you think! The next chapter will involve Sasuke's reunion with Orochimaru.


	5. A Deal With The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke reunited with Orochimaru and makes arrangements to have his gonorrhea taken care of.

“Sasuke,” Orochimaru hissed at me when I met up with him.  “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stave off your blood lust forever.  Welcome.”

“I’m only here for one reason, so let’s get on with it.”

“Not so fast, Sasuke.  Wouldn’t you like to know the details of our agreement?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really, no.  I’ll help you train and become strong enough to defeat your brother, but you will be indebted to me.”

I rolled my eyes.  “And how do I pay off said debt?”

“With your body,” he replied, licking his lips.

“My body?  You want sex?”

“No Sasuke, not sex, although I wouldn’t decline,” he added with a gleam in his eyes.  Gross.  “My price is the ability to use your body as my vessel when I can no longer maintain this one.”

Now that was fucking creepy.  I felt my lips curve into a smirk.  “You really want my body? Fine then, but be warned- I have gonorrhea.”

He clucked his tongue.  “Now Sasuke, that just won’t do.  Luckily for you, Kabuto here is the leading medical ninja in treating sexual infections.  We can start treatment immediately and you’ll be cured in no time.  Then we’ll start training, you can kill your brother, and then you’ll let me have your body.”

“Deal,” I agreed.  “I live only to kill Itachi; you can have what’s left after that.”

“Very well then,” he nodded to Kabuto.

“Right this way, Sasuke,” he motioned in front of him.  I followed Kabuto down the long corridor to finally rid myself of the constant need to take a burning piss.

 

☾

 

I sat in my room, bored out of my fucking mind.  My mind briefly flashed to Naruto, but I pushed it away immediately.  There’s no way I would be able to face those thoughts any time soon.

I looked around the barren room, unimpressed.  For someone so powerful and secretive, his hideout lacked any sort of character.  I doubted anyone even knew that it was here; it was pretty well hidden.

On the bright side, Sakura wasn’t here to invade my personal space and then inform me that I had some unknown condition.  Even better, said condition was now being taken care of.

I picked up the small bottle of pills that Kabuto had prescribed to me.

 _“Now Sasuke, make sure you take_ every single one of these _,” he stressed to me._

_“Whatever,” I grumbled.  I wasn’t here for chit-chat and I would do whatever I needed to in order to free myself from this hell._

_“I’m serious Sasuke, we need Lord Orochimaru’s vessel to be in perfect condition when the need arises.”_

_“That’s fine,” I waved dismissively.  “I don’t really care.”_

_“Very well then.  You may go.”_

_I grumbled as I retreated to my new home._

I wasn’t entirely sure why Kabuto was so close to Orochimaru or why Orochimaru didn’t just take _his_ body.  Whatever, it wasn’t really that important.  Maybe he used _him_ for sex.

I snickered at the thought.  Naruto would have loved that joke.  Sighing, I stood up abruptly to go for a walk.  I needed to clear my head.

 

☾

 

Walking through Orochimaru’s complex was a pain in the ass.  Everything looked the fucking same.  It was any wonder I wasn’t lost; Naruto sure would have been.

 _Clearing your head_ , I reminded myself.  No Naruto, not here.

I could faintly hear Orochimaru’s voice up ahead.  I quietly approached to bring myself within hearing distance, but not close enough to get noticed.

“I don’t think the snake bite was really necessary Lord Orochimaru.  He came here because of Itachi after all.”

“He did.  No sense in taking risks though, Kabuto.  By infecting him with gonorrhea via snake bite, he would have shown up eventually since you’re the only medical ninja who specializes in sexual infections.  With Naruto around, there was no telling how much longer his anti-Itachi goal would last.”

“I suppose you’re right.  It’s all behind us now anyway, let’s continue to move forward.”

I clenched my fists at my side.  I didn’t care about my revenge _that_ much, and like hell would I let Orochimaru have my body now.

I was fucking leaving tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like the chapter, please leave comments and let me know what you guys think! Next chapter will cover what happens after Sasuke leaves Orochimaru's hideout.


	6. A Deal With An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke speaks with Tsunade about returning to the village and finds that it will be more difficult than he originally thought.

“Sasuke, I’m surprised to see you here” the blonde Hokage addressed me, raising an eyebrow.  “Does Naruto know?”

“Not yet,” I admitted.  “I came straight here.”

“That’s for the best,” she agreed.  “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I want to come back to the village.”

“Hmm,” she tapped her finger on her chin thoughtfully.  “Although I’d love to just let you back into the village, I’m afraid it’s not that easy.”

“What do you mean?”  I glared at the woman in front of me.

“Sasuke, you’re a rogue ninja now.  Unfortunately, the rules don’t just allow for you to come back and be a full-blown citizen; you have to redeem yourself.”

“And how do I do that?”

“Well, I could always use a spy for Orochimaru.  You’re in the perfect position for that very job.”

“I’m never going back there,” I began.  “That asshole gave me gonorrhea and tried to use my body as his own.”

“Hmm,” she thought aloud for a minute before a devious smile made its way to her face. “Naruto.”

“Naruto?”

“Yep.  Your mission is Naruto.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll figure it out, I’m sure,” she said cryptically.  “Now go find him.  I believe you owe him an apology.”

My heart dropped at the thought of that.  Oh yeah, I left him unconscious in the rain.  I couldn’t bring myself to imagine him waking up to my absence, so I pushed forward.

“Very well,” I agreed as I went off to find my best friend.

 

☾

 

“Sas...uke?”  The blond looked at me, confused.

“Hey, dumbass,” I smirked.

“Did you,” he began, “did you kill your brother?”

“Nah,” I admitted.  “I didn’t even go to Orochimaru for that.  I can kill Itachi on my own time.”

“Wait, then why did you go?”

I rolled my eyes.  “I ended up with gonorrhea.  As it so happens,  Kabuto’s specialty is sexual infections.  While I was there, I overheard them talking about how they had a snake infect me.”

“So, that’s why you came back,” he looked down at his feet sadly.

“Naruto, I…”

“Just...give me some time alone okay?  I need to process this.”

I watched as he made his way back to his apartment alone.  _So this is my mission?  Fuck.  I majorly fucked up._

 

☾

 

“It looks like you’re all cleared up, Sasuke.  Though I would recommend waiting 2 more weeks before engaging in any sexual activity, then come see me again to be tested again.  Call me crazy, but I don’t exactly trust Kabuto and Orochimaru.”

I snickered.  “I don’t foresee that being an issue,” I responded to her suggestion.  She shrugged.

“You never know Sasuke, things can change pretty quickly.  Speaking of change...how’s Naruto?”

I felt myself tense at the mention of my best friend, but I didn’t respond.  We hadn’t spoken since I had tried to explain my situation to him.  It was as if he was avoiding me altogether and honestly, I wasn’t very fond of it.

“That good, huh?  I probably should have warned you ahead of time, but noticing the problem is part of a mission.  Have you figured out the problem yet?”

“No,” I answered honestly.  Naruto was so desperate to keep me in the village before I left, I couldn’t understand why my coming back had made him so bitter.  Just thinking about it made me frustrated enough to force myself to think of something else.

“Hmm,” she tapped her chin in thought.  “I wonder what i is that Naruto’s feeling.”  I noticed a gleam in her eye, implying that she was giving me an enormous hint without being directly involved.  She was clever, I’d give her that.

“Yeah,” I agreed, catching on immediately, “I wonder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter, please don't forget to comment, I love hearing from you all! Next chapter will cover Naruto and Sasuke's struggle to mend their relationship.


	7. A Growing Threat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has to leave the village to prepare for the impending arrival of the Akatsuki.

I was allowed back on team 7 when I returned to completing missions, a week later.  Although my redemption mission had yet to be completed, Tsunade had asked me to rejoin the team since we had such a large shortage of manpower.  She assured me that the Naruto mission was sure to take awhile anyway, and technically I was still working on it by being a part of his team.

Unfortunately for me, things hadn’t exactly returned to normal.  Naruto had all but ceased speaking entirely.  He only answered questions that were posed to him specifically and never spoke to me directly.  I could tell that he was still mad, so I’d taken Tsunade’s advice and put myself in his shoes.

I understood his frustration, honestly.  I had left, unwilling to let him bring me back, then I came back- almost immediately- of my own accord.  That’s why I tried to explain my situation to him, but he didn’t seem to care.  I had come to the realization that he felt betrayed by me, but he hadn’t allowed me to discuss it with him since our first conversation when I returned.  I decided that I should just give him space since he was forcing me to anyway.  It was beyond frustrating though; I just wanted my dobe back.

“Kakashi,” Naruto’s pervert of an instructor called out when we returned from a mission.  “I need to talk to you about something.  Do you have a minute?”

“Sure,” Kakashi answered passively.  _What could they possibly need to discuss_?

Kakashi returned after a couple minutes, giving us a brief explanation of what was going on.

“Naruto,” he began, “Jiraiya is going to be working on training you outside of the village for the next two years.  With the threat of the Akatsuki growing daily, we’re going to need you to be fully prepared for whatever happens.”

Naruto shrugged, remaining silent.  He really didn’t like to speak around me anymore.

I couldn’t believe my luck.  After all that talk about wanting me to come back to the village, he was leaving?  What would Konoha even be without Naruto?

“Alright,” Kakashi continued.  “The two of you will leave tomorrow.  I’ll discuss arrangements for the rest of the team with the Hokage.  You are all dismissed.”

 

☾

 

Naruto had been away for quite some time now.  I hadn’t been happy upon learning that he was leaving the village for two years, but I was even less happy about him actually being gone.  Knowing it was coming wasn’t nearly as bad as having to live through it.

Since his departure, Tsunade had decided to take Sakura under her wing and train her in medical ninjutsu.  I was left to complete missions with Kakashi on my own.  It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it didn’t feel right without the other two around.  At least the missions were going more smoothly now.

I was taking a stroll through the village one bright day, when I noticed a familiar face.  Naruto was back and his smile was brighter than ever.  He was currently having an animated conversation with Sakura.  I wasn’t sure if he was still mad at me, but my redemption mission still hadn’t been completed, so I approached them.

“Back already?” I tried to begin by taunting him in our usual style, but he didn’t respond accordingly.  

“Yeah, like you’re one to talk,” he mumbled, scowling at me.  So he was still mad.  Great.

I sighed, trying to brush it off like I always did.  “Whatever,” I added as I turned to go, “later, loser.”

 

☾

 

“Sasuke,” Tsunade had summoned me at 1am for god-knows-what.  “You’re probably wondering why I summoned you.”

“Yeah?”  I was grumbling, but I had never been a pleasant person after being woken up.

“The Akatsuki’s got Naruto.  He’s your primary mission, so it makes the most sense for you to go after him.”

“Itachi,” I hissed.  “Why the fuck did Naruto let himself get captured?  Isn’t that why he left in the first place?”

“He surrendered himself willingly.  No one is entirely sure why.”

“Moron,” I spat, already halfway out the door.  Now I had to go save his ass.

 

☾

 

“Itachi,” I greeted my older brother.  “I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

“Oh, this?”  Itachi held Naruto’s limp body up in demonstration.  He was alone this time, his partner probably on some other mission.

“I won’t let you take Naruto,” I hissed at him.  He let out a sadistic laugh in response.

“Take your stupid boyfriend, Sasuke,” he said, tossing Naruto’s limp body to me.

I caught him of course, bit I was still confused.  “You don’t want him?”

“Not particularly, no.  He talks a lot; I had to put him in genjutsu just to shut him up.”

“But...the Nine Tails,” I responded, still lost.

He shrugged.  “Silly brother, you understand nothing.  Now, let your big brother continue on his way, I’ve got big boy business to handle.”

He disappeared in a cloud of smoke- leaving me slightly less confused, but frustrated nonetheless.

 

☾

 

I moved quickly through the trees, supporting Naruto’s weight on my back.

_Damn he’s gotten heavy._

I was about a day away from the village now.  I’d been surprised at Itachi handing Naruto back to me so easily, but I was glad that it was over.  Naruto was safe, he was with me, and he was returning to the village.

“Sasuke?”  The blond on my back began to wake up.

I stopped to allow him time to wake up; I needed to take a break anyway.

“What are you doing here?”

I shrugged.  “It’s a rescue mission, Naruto.  The Akatsuki had you; are you really surprised?”

“No,” he grumbled, “but why did it have to be you?”

I felt my temper flare, but quelled it for the time being.  “What’s wrong with me, Naruto?”

“It could have been anyone else,” he shook his head, seemingly ignoring me.

“Like who?”

“I don’t know; Sakura, Kakashi, anyone else!  Someone who cares!”

“What makes you think I don’t care?”

“Sasuke, please.  Don’t insult me by pretending to have feelings now.”

“Fucking idiot,” I hissed, throwing him against the tree, watching as he fell on his ass..  “What do you think you know about me anyway?  You haven’t spoken to me in three fucking years!”

“Does that bother you?”

“Yes!  Yes it fucking bothers me, Naruto!  But not as much as finding you unconscious in Itachi’s arms!  You could have fucking _died_ Naruto!   What the hell were you thinking?”  Yelling at him seemed to be the only way this conversation would progress and I didn’t mind letting loose, not anymore.

“Why does it matter?”  He was standing now, challenging me right back and yelling in my face.

“Why does it matter?  Why does it matter?!  I almost fucking lost you, that’s why it matters!”  I was screaming at the top of my lungs by now, but I couldn’t care less.  This had been building up for years and I needed to get it out.

“What do you mean you almost lost me?”  He had quieted down quite a bit, focused on that last bit of information.

“I was terrified,” I lowered my voice as well.

“Why?”

“I…” I couldn’t bring myself to say it, not out loud at least. I took a deep breath, stepping closer to him as I gabbed hold of each of his hands.  Leaning in, I pushed him against the trunk of the tree and pressed my lips against his in a gentle kiss.  He didn’t object, so I took it a step further as I began to move my lips against his.

“I love you,” I whispered as I pulled away, high on adrenaline.

“Sasuke,” he whispered, shock apparent on his face.

“Yeah,” I said quietly.  “Happy?  All this time you’ve been refusing to talk to me and it’s been destroying me inside.  Then you left for two years.  Then you fucking turned yourself in to Itachi and I didn’t think I’d actually get you back.  I don’t know why he did it, but Itachi practically handed you back to me without asking so much as a single question.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.  “I was just hurt, Sasuke.  When you left, you refused to come back, no matter how much I begged you.  Then you just showed up a week later like it never happened!”

“I told you about the gonorrhea.”

“Yeah, you did, but it was too late.  You never told me about it in the first place.  What other secrets were you keeping from me, Sasuke?”

“That’s it, I swear.  Tsunade told me not to tell anyone, even you.  We didn’t want word going around the village.”

“So you don’t trust me?”

“Naruto, I trust you with my life, but anyone could have overheard us at anytime.”

“I lost my best friend, Sasuke.”

“Yeah.  So did I,” I sighed.

“Sasuke,” he whispered my name again, coming closer.  “I turned myself in because it’s what’s best for the village.  I was trying to save the village.”

“Moron.  What do you think they’re doing with all those tailed beasts, Naruto?  You wouldn’t be protecting the village; you’d be helping them destroy the world!”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” I smirked.  “Not so bright, huh?”

“Thanks, Sasuke,” he added quickly.

“What do you mean?”

“For everything, just thanks.”  Then he leaned in and kissed me.  “And for the record, bastard- I fucking missed you too.”

 

☾

 

“So, you’re dating now?”  Tsunade seemed amused as I reported to her upon completion of my mission.

“Yeah,” I admitted quietly, looking away.

“Heh.  I always figured that would be the case.”

 _What?  She_ knew _?_

“Congratulations anyway, Sasuke.  You’ve officially completed your redemption mission, but I would recommend always taking care of Naruto like it’s part of your mission.  After all, he’s all yours now,” she smirked.

“And you brought him back safe and sound.  I can’t believe he ran off thinking that he could save the village that way.  Truly unpredictable,” she added, shaking her head.

“I was surprised at how easy it was, though,” I confessed.

“Oh, that?  You said that Itachi was alone?  That’s why.”

I raised my eyebrow, unaware of what she was trying to imply.

She sighed before continuing.  “Sasuke, your brother is working for us.  He’s spying on the Akatsuki for us.  It’s _his_ redemption mission, if you will.”

“You gave my brother- a mass murderer- a redemption mission?”

“Not me, my predecessor.  To my understanding, Itachi is fairly innocent in regards to what happened.”

“Innocent?  He killed my entire family!”

“Yes, but it was also a mission.  He was being manipulated by the leader of the Anbu faction known as The Foundation- Danzo.   _He_ is currently under investigation Sasuke, and we will convict him of _everything_.  The justice of your family’s death does not solely rely on your shoulders Sasuke, the village lost an imperative part of itself that day; those lost will not be forgotten.”

That actually managed to console me a bit.  So the Uchiha massacre had not gone unnoticed after all?  Good.  

“Now, leave the hard work and politics to me and go play with your new boyfriend.”

She was right, politics was her job and I knew I could leave it in her capable hands.  Besides, I _did_ have a new boyfriend to play with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the chapter, please leave me some feedback and let me know what you think! The next and final chapter just wraps things up and ties up some loose ends. Warning: It will also contain smut, so if you're homophobic, don't bother reading it; you won't like it. The plot is pretty much finished anyway, so you won't miss much.


	8. The Ultimate Life Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much just a smut chapter, so if that bothers you, don't read it.

“Hey Sasuke,” Naruto asked me as I played with his hair.

“Hm?”

“Has Orochimaru come for you since you left?”

“Heh.  I guess he hasn’t; at least if he has he’s done a pretty poor job of it.  I honestly have no idea what he’s up to now.  Why?”

“Do you think he might come for you again?”

“Hn.  Well, I guess he might, yeah.”

“Doesn’t that make you nervous, teme?”

“Not as nervous as the idea of the Akatsuki coming for you,” I admitted.

“Oh yeah,” he remembered.  “I guess it’s kind of the same.”

“Indeed.”

“Hey, Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“If Orochimaru does come for you again, I won’t let him have you, okay?”

I smirked.  “Oh, is that so?”

“Yep!  Just like how you’ll protect me from the Akatsuki.”

“Who said I’d protect you from the Akatsuki?”

“Would you?’

“Of course, but I never said that.”

“Sasuke, you bastard!” He nudged me in the arm with his fist.

“Hn,” I smirked, loving that our playful banter was back.

“Hey Sasuke?”

“Hm?”  He sure did have a lot of questions today.

“How did you get gonorrhea?”

“One of Orochimaru’s snakes gave it to me.  I told you this already, remember?”

“Oh, yeah.  Well, have you had sex yet?”

“Heh.  Who would I have had sex with, moron?”

“I don’t know, fucking anybody!”  He screamed, completely missing the pun.

“No, Naruto, I have not had sex yet.”

“Well...do you still have gonorrhea?”

“No, I got treated for it.  Tsunade’s even checked me out multiple times since my return, so you can be assured that I’m in the clear.”

“So...do you want to…” he stammered.  

Oh, was that where all this was going?

“Do I want to have sex with you?”

“Yeah,” he blushed, looking away.

“Heh.  I thought you’d never ask,” I purred as I leaned in to kiss him.

 

☾

 

Naruto was panting as though he was giving birth as he dug his nails into my back.

“You know,” I teased, “for someone who wanted this, you don’t seem so eager now.  Are you sure you want to keep going?”

“Yes...bastard,” he hissed in between breaths.  I continued to slide one lubed finger in and out of his entrance repeatedly.

“Naruto, this is only one finger.  Are you sure?”

“Of course I am!  Go ahead and add another!”  Naruto seemed to have regained control of himself, so I did as I was told.

Once again I could hear his breath hitching in my ear in discomfort.

“You’re sure about this, Naruto?”

“Yes,” he hissed, “just do what you need to and get on with it.”

I slowly scissored my fingers as I continued to stretch him, hoping not to cause him any more pain than necessary.

“Are you done yet?”

“Naruto, believe it or not, my dick’s a bit bigger than my fingers.  I’ll ask you again, are you _sure_?”

“Yes, I’m sure, now stop asking that!”

I sighed, slowly inserting a third finger as I continued my efforts.  _Please don’t hurt him, please don’t hurt him, please don’t hurt him_ , I silently begged.

He was tense and obviously uncomfortable, so I curled my fingers as I tried to find his prostate.  Tsunade had told me that it was a pleasure point (with an amused expression on her face, of course) and I hoped that it actually worked.

A small moan actually managed to escape his lips as he ground down on my fingers.  _Huh, I guess she was right after all_.  I smirked, now aiming solely for the pleasurable spot inside my lover.

As moans and gasps escaped from Naruto’s lips, I noticed the precum that he was already leaking and decided that he was prepared enough.

“Okay Naruto,” I said, pulling my fingers out, “are you ready?”

“Of course I’m ready, bastard, let’s do this!”

He was always so eager.  I quickly rolled a condom over my erection and positioned myself at his entrance.  Taking a deep breath, I looked Naruto in the eyes and he nodded his consent at me.

I slowly pushed in to the hilt, stopping abruptly whenever Naruto showed any sign of pain.  When I was all the way in, I stopped as I waited for his body to adjust and grabbed his erection to try to distract him.

“You know,” I began jokingly as I ran my thumb over the slit, “Kakashi _is_ always reading porn.  I bet he could give us some pointers.”

“Pssh,” Naruto scoffed.  “Jiraiya writes the porn that Kakashi reads; we’d probably be better off asking him.”

As I looked at the man beneath me, I knew there was no stopping the words that came out of my mouth.  “You know I love you, right?”

“Huh?  Of course I do, bastard.  And I love you too,” he added, squeezing my hand.

I nodded in response, too blissfully in the moment to respond.

“Hey Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“You can start moving now.”

Oh.  I slowly began with shallow thrusts at first, adjusting my angle so I could find his prostate.

“Sasuke!” he moaned, squeezing my hand tighter.  _Found it_.

I sped up a little, with deeper thrusts as I allowed Naruto’s moans and gasps to serenade me in the process.  Every so often I would hear my name fall from his lips and it was my favorite part of the entire thing.

As we both grew more needy, I sped up again, finally thrusting fully into Naruto as he moaned my name over and over.  By this point, even I could feel myself losing control.

“Na-ru-to,” I moaned, trying to keep myself under control, but also losing myself to the moment.  Beneath me, Naruto was writhing around in pleasure- and honestly- it was the sexiest thing that I’d ever seen.

I quickly pumped his erection and brought him to completion at the same time that I reached my limit.

“Sa-su-ke,” he whisper-moaned my name as his back arched up off the bed.

I couldn’t force my mouth to actually form words, but I was pretty sure that my moans were louder than any of his had been.

I pulled out of him gently- careful not to lose the condom- before pulling the protective barrier off of myself and tossing it in the trash.  Grabbing a washcloth, I cleaned Naruto up before tossing it to the side and pulling him into my arms.

“Hey, Sasuke?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

I smiled, knowing that no one would be able to take this precious gift away from me.  “I love you too, dobe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't forget to leave comments and let me know what you think! Thanks for all your support!


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